Seldom do I ever start out a post with the words “I can’t,” but today is a different story. I can’t…
In today’s WTF Files, a 16-year-old Ohio girl is probably cowering in a fetal position in a corner in her room after discovering that who she thought was her 14-year-old boyfriend was actually a 31-year-old grown ass WOMAN. *faints*
Patricia Dye, 31, posed as a 14-year-old boy under the alias Matt Abrams in order to allegedly have sex with a 16-year-old girl in Springboro, Ohio, according to the Dayton Daily News.
Dye was arrested after the underage girl she is accused of having sex with fled the hotel room that she shared with Dye, reports CBS News. Police say that the girl fled after finding out that Dye was an adult woman and not the boy that she had claimed to be.
Dye has admitted to posing as a young boy, but has not yet spoken on allegations of whether or not she had sex with the victim. Before her arrest, Dye stayed with the girl for in a hotel for three days.
“They were boyfriend-girlfriend,” Sgt. Bob Marchiny said. “(Dye) looks just like a boy.”
Dye, a 4-foot-11 woman from Franklin was six inches shorter than the victim and has no local criminal record to show.
When you are an underage person in America, there are four numbers you should have in your speed dial: Momma, Daddy, 911 and CHRIS HANSEN.
In today’s WTF Files, Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino from MTV’s hot-ass-mess-yet-amazing show “Jersey Shore” is releasing a new techno/hip-hop-ish song for the clubs via iTunes. O_o
As if that’s not disturbing enough, The Sitch raps on the track and it features collaborations from respectable people like Fatman Scoop.
I have three questions about this: 1. Why!? 2. Why, lawd!? 3. Why, lawd, WHY!?
There is an intense custody battle brewing — over Gary Coleman’s dead body. A funeral and burial that was supposed to be held for Gary this weekend has been canceled as his parents fight to gain custody of his body from Gary’s psycho ass ex-wife Shannon Price.
The Colemans don’t want to fight with anyone. They just want to bring their son home. Mr. and Mrs. Coleman are Gary Coleman’s surviving family. They’re hoping that by applying for Formal Probate, they can get through this process the right way. The status of the divorce, whether or not anyone has a will, these are all issues that should be brought to the family’s attention immediately. Formal Probate is the way we make sure it all gets handled properly.
Gary’s family wants him to buried in Zion, Illinois, where they currently live, or at Forest Lawn here in Los Angeles. Gary’s psycho ass ex-wife (as she will continued to called on this site) says that she has the legal right to make all the decisions regarding Gary’s burial.
While all this drama is going on, Gary’s body is still chilling at a mortuary. Jesus take the wheel and drive Gary Coleman’s body to a cemetary.
An 8-year-old Detroit girl tried calling 911 for help after both her mother and father were shot. Her father was apparently killed instantly, but she was hoping to get emergency officials to save her mother who was dying from her gunshot wounds.
She tried her best to explain her location and what happened, but the 911 operator was super rude to the child from the get go and eventually hung up on the girl. Her mother died. Listen to the ridiculousness above.
I don’t care how stressful being a 911 operator is, this woman had no right to treat this young girl the way she did. For someone her age, that girl did a great job of explaining what was going on. In a city as large and with as much crime as Detroit, I’m sure the 911 dispatchers have software that can pinpoint the location from the call.
I cannot get over her talking to this child like she is a grown woman. This woman needs to be fired immediately.
Gary Coleman was a guest on the trainwreck of a show known as “The Insider” Wednesday to answer questions about his recent domestic violence charges. Gary was calm at first, but all hell broke loose when guest panelist Lisa Bloom kept pressing him to flat out admit that he never abused his wife. He told her to go “f**k yourself” and that she can go “fall into the ocean!” Gary eventually got up and walked off the set before things got too out of control. Smart move. Watch the madness above!
This video leaves me with so many questions… What’s up with his hands? Why did she keep asking him the same question — he clearly answered it like 3 times? Who came up with this idea for a show? He’s right — she doesn’t know him, so why the hell is she all up in his grill? Did they really have a behavioral analyst readily available on set? So many questions yet so few answers.
Lisa Bloom was far too aggressive with the questioning. But Gary, those hands… those fingers… that ash! I can’t!!
The highly-anticipated “We Are The World 25 for Haiti” remake debuted last night during the Vancouver Olympics opening ceremonies, complete with rap, creole, and autotune.
While I can’t criticize all these artists for coming together for such a great cause (even though many of them were CLEARLY there just for camera time), the whole thing was a huge mess. It was very lackluster, especially compared to the original. After I watched, I was basically looking at the screen like this:
Yes, a complete and utter blank stare. But there were some great moments — Jennifer Hudson, the lady from Sugarland (she’s an AMAZING singer!), P!nk, and Mary J. Blige all sounded great. I also loved when Michael Jackson and Janet sang together.
The moments that made me go WTF!? included Lil Wayne‘s verse — it just came out of nowhere — Wyclef‘s Creole shouting match, and don’t get me started on the rapping from various artists at the end… O_O
Like I said at the beginning, bravo to these artists for coming together for an important cause. I hope they are able to raise a lot of money to help the people of Haiti.
Flo Rida debuts new video directly to the freak nasties
Most artists choose to exclusively premiere their new music videos on MTV or BET, or even YouTube or Twitter. But rapper Flo Rida wanted to do something different. He premiered his video for “Touch Me” exclusively on the AdultFriendFinder website.
I have a question: who the hell are his PR people? I get the idea: debut a video for a freaky song on a website full of freak nasty users. But is that really a strong audience? All I know is that I doubt other artists will be rushing to debut their new videos on AdultFriendFinder.
In today’s WTF Files, some guy steals this dude’s Top Ramen noodles and he goes OFF!
I don’t even know where to begin with this video! The quotes are endless — “I put that on my f**king grandma’s grave!! I took ‘em out the packet!!” LOL!
Jesus take the wheel! It is too early for this foolishness, but it’s too funny. Watch it above, and by the way, the language in the video is NSFW.
In today’s WTF Files — Friday, Tyra Banks apparently made ‘history’ by being the first show ever to air a live colonic. Watch the ridiculousness below.
What in the dusty trollop hell is going on over at “The Tyra Banks Show”? Are they having trouble booking guests? Has the cable and Internet been disconnected and they are not aware of current news and events?
There’s a reason why a colonic hasn’t been aired on television up until now — nobody wants to see that s#!t, literally! Tyra, we need you to get it together please!
In today’s WTF Files is this photo of a guy and his ridiculous Fruity Pebbles chain, which was brought to my attention via Twitter.
Why, Lord, Why!? I’m all for freedom of expression, but come on now. I bet you his rent isn’t even paid; that’s if he doesn’t still live with his momma.
Also in today’s WTF Files — Tyra Banks had some grown ass people on her show who admit that they eat their own boogers! What is this mess!? These mofos are crazy! I cannot… Watch the foolishness below (There is an audio delay).
By the way, Tyra must be running out of story/segment ideas with a quickness.
In today’s WTF files, David P. Santuomo, a fool firefighter from Columbus, Ohio, is facing jail time and the possible loss of his job after killing his two dogs instead of paying for their care while he went on a cruise.
Santuomo apparently took his dogs, Sloopy and Skeeter, to the basement and hanged them from the pipe. He placed a makeshift silencer on his rifle and fired around 11 shots at the dogs. He then wrapped their bodies in plastic and threw them in a dumpster behind the fire station where he worked.
Apparently, this loser committed the crime back in December. Reports say that he bragged about the crime, but after telling his fellow firefighters what he did, they turned him in.
He only faces a 90-day jail sentence, and he may lose his job.
Didn’t Michael Vick serve way more jail-time and lose everything but his life for organizing illegal dogfighting rings? Well this guy should certainly face much more punishment for these despicable acts.
He better watch out for PETA — they’ll beat his ASS!
In a recent interview, rapper/TV personality Lil Mama compared Michael Jackson‘s death to that of Jesus Christ. Uh, has she been popping pills along with her lip gloss? I have love for Lil Mama, but that statement does make you raise your eyebrow. What do you think?
In today’s WTF files, some lady in Ohio was being interviewed by the police when a squirrel suddenly crawled out of her crevices. I have no more words; just watch the foolishness.
